Within a church family, there will always be people who seem to ruffle the flock’s feathers. They may be people who just have no idea about the way they come across to others; how offensive their words are at times, or how unlike Christ their tone of voice is. Sometimes these people need to be confronted. You cannot sacrifice the peace and well being of the multitude for a few people. When our children were younger, one child was never allowed to dominate (for long!) or spoil a family evening or outing for the others. The offender would be corrected and sometimes removed to a solitary place until his or her behavior improved.
In a church setting, with your good husband’s permission, you may have to be the one who has to approach an individual (woman) who is causing problems in order to help her and keep peace. I have found that a good Christian woman, though she may be at fault, will be ready and willing to receive Christlike instruction and a gentle rebuke. There may be tears shed, or even an attempt at a lame explanation, but when all is said and done, she will love you for bringing this to her attention and make the necessary changes for the improvement of her relationships within the church family and, of course, for the glory of God.
However, I have dealt with women over the 23+ years in the ministry who have had quite a different response. All of them—every single one—turned out to be false professors in the end. You can’t talk to them. They have done nothing wrong. They are defensive and turn into a crying, pity-partying, slobbering, angry mess. And heaven forbid you should approach them about one of their children! No football team has tougher defense tactics.
As saved people, we are constantly growing, changing, and becoming more like Jesus Christ. In the process, we should be thought well of, as a good, kind, thoughtful servant of the Lord. We should speak to others lovingly, and never talk down to them. Always being especially conscientious of the lost all around us.
Be a leading lady in your church family. Show others you are Christlike, loving, and approachable. Be someone to smooth ruffled feathers and bring about that peace that makes for beautiful unity within the church family.
