This is a very warm, very muggy day and I am writing this article late in the afternoon on a Monday in July. There is, of all things on a day like this—a small bowl of jellybeans right next to my computer mouse, and it is so hot up here in my room, I think my jellybeans have begun to sweat. Yuck. I hate sticky, moist, jellybeans. I pop a pink one in my mouth and discover it is not as sticky as I assumed, but I figure I better eat them fast or they will turn into a little pile gooey, gummy, globs.
Sometimes, as a Pastor’s wife, you are going to find yourself in the middle of a very sticky situation. Hopefully, you will not be the one who has actually brought about the difficult circumstance-peradventure you will find yourself drawn into the middle of something that needs-shall we say-unsticking. Most sticky situations are about as uncomfortable as the temperature feels this very moment as I write this. I usually love the warm—even hot—weather, but today there is so much humidity in the air it is just oppressive. Some sticky situations that take place in church can also be oppressive. Every one is getting her feeling’s hurt and people aren’t thinking spiritually, and this one just can’t see the light of reason. So what do you do when your good husband asks you to go and see if you can figure out what’s going on? Run and hide? Ignore the whole thing? We can’t do that because confrontation, while not very pleasant, is very necessary for continued harmony in a church family. And, the Scriptures tell us that those of us who are older in the Lord need to help and instruct the younger ones. So, often times we may find ourselves trying to reason with someone who refuses to be reasonable! We may have to confront someone who refuses to budge. So, what to do? First of all, don’t make a move-do not utter a word without first seeking the Lord and asking for His leadership and direction. Ask Him to prepare the heart of the one to whom you wish to speak so that they will receive the benefit of your counsel. Second, when you do approach someone, be a good listener. (Ever sit down and pour your heart out to someone, yet, you can tell they’re not listening to a word you say-they’re just waiting to fire off their answer to you?) You’ve got to pray when you’re listening-asking the Lord for insight. Third of all-sometimes reconciliation may involve getting all parties together and listening to all sides. It’s not always the most productive for it can turn into a case of he said/she said, however, if you listen closely, you will be able with the Lord’s help, to detect any inconsistencies. Fourth of all, if you are blessed enough to be dealing with sound converts and spiritually minded people-remember this: when the entire thing is over and appears to be resolved, you’ve just got to be yourself whenever you see that person again. Don’t act strange, don’t act distant-just be a friend and be yourself.
I hope you don’t find yourself in too many sticky circumstances—but if you do, maybe these little tips will be a help and blessing to you.
Sometimes, as a Pastor’s wife, you are going to find yourself in the middle of a very sticky situation. Hopefully, you will not be the one who has actually brought about the difficult circumstance-peradventure you will find yourself drawn into the middle of something that needs-shall we say-unsticking. Most sticky situations are about as uncomfortable as the temperature feels this very moment as I write this. I usually love the warm—even hot—weather, but today there is so much humidity in the air it is just oppressive. Some sticky situations that take place in church can also be oppressive. Every one is getting her feeling’s hurt and people aren’t thinking spiritually, and this one just can’t see the light of reason. So what do you do when your good husband asks you to go and see if you can figure out what’s going on? Run and hide? Ignore the whole thing? We can’t do that because confrontation, while not very pleasant, is very necessary for continued harmony in a church family. And, the Scriptures tell us that those of us who are older in the Lord need to help and instruct the younger ones. So, often times we may find ourselves trying to reason with someone who refuses to be reasonable! We may have to confront someone who refuses to budge. So, what to do? First of all, don’t make a move-do not utter a word without first seeking the Lord and asking for His leadership and direction. Ask Him to prepare the heart of the one to whom you wish to speak so that they will receive the benefit of your counsel. Second, when you do approach someone, be a good listener. (Ever sit down and pour your heart out to someone, yet, you can tell they’re not listening to a word you say-they’re just waiting to fire off their answer to you?) You’ve got to pray when you’re listening-asking the Lord for insight. Third of all-sometimes reconciliation may involve getting all parties together and listening to all sides. It’s not always the most productive for it can turn into a case of he said/she said, however, if you listen closely, you will be able with the Lord’s help, to detect any inconsistencies. Fourth of all, if you are blessed enough to be dealing with sound converts and spiritually minded people-remember this: when the entire thing is over and appears to be resolved, you’ve just got to be yourself whenever you see that person again. Don’t act strange, don’t act distant-just be a friend and be yourself.
I hope you don’t find yourself in too many sticky circumstances—but if you do, maybe these little tips will be a help and blessing to you.
